Tuesday 10 December 2013

Hi!



So here I am. 

Laura,mother,fiancé,sister,daughter,granddaughter,auntie,niece,cousin 😉 32 years young. Currently on maternity leave. But soon to be signed officially off. Hoping not permanently! My very loving fiancé and the man I am desperate to marry asap; is Jp he is my carer. My rock. My children's glue as well as mine. Holding us all together. 

Where to start......(don't fall asleep! I'll ask questions at the end to check 😉)

I'm awake at 05:45 and yet again I can't sleep(dreaded insomnia and silly brain). So thought-what better a time to tell you a little about me and why I want to write it down. 

In April 2013 I fell and knocked myself unconscious. Fracturing a vertebra at the same time. Life changed dramatically. 

I'd always had health issues, I have a pacemaker for complete heart block. But this was a shock. It happened in a upset market in front of my sons. So we discovered I have epilepsy. In fact I may always have had it. For as long as I can remember I zone out. I'm a day dreamer.(who isn't 😊) 

To cut a long story short I am on my path to being seizure free. I have grand mal fits and my last bad episode involved 15 cluster seizures. I'm not controlled as yet. But today it's been two days since my last fit 😊 I want to share my journey with you. To maybe help or rationalise your fears and mine. 
I have three beautiful children. The youngest is almost 1. So much to be happy for. So much to keep fighting. 

Please share with me your stories. But please don't feel alone. 
We are all here together. An army against this and I'm hoping through the power of writing I can help myself and others recover too. Let's be in it together. 
United we stand! 

Love to you all. 
Laura 
Family photo for you...proud mum moment. Forgive me xx


My first epilepsy poem

Stuck in the moment,
Praying for light...
Or a day that isn't a fight. 

My body is tired,
my brain is fried, 
yet here I am. 
I am alive. 

I'm still here. 
I never left, 
I'm fighting a war,
Except with myself. 

Can't you see how scary a day,
When my body reacts
And I drift away. 

I am still she,
I still laugh and sing,
My body gets broken,
Does that mean a thing. 

Tell me who to be,
How to get through,
Heavens knows I'm trying 
It's so hard to do. 

I have epilepsy,it doesn't have me,
I'm still here. I'm me. I'm she